January 2011
18 posts
this weekend was fantastic. in a dehydrating kind of way.
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tonight should be good. im glad im not going to grand rapids.
the hardest thing to come to grips with is if i would have said it a few weeks sooner than last night, instead of being a coward, things could be different. would be. im a shell of who i was, with no discernable direction to go. i swear im barely holding on to that girl.
fattymcgoo:
The Only Living Boy in New York /...
tired. everything is caught up and once that happens i feel two things. relieved, because i dont have to worry about money, or gas, or cigarettes. stressed, because i dont have to worry about anything. what do you do with that?
im going home and messing up my closet.
also, after this last load of laundry is done, beth is making me do turbo jam. its really hard, because the whole time im laughing...
not to imply infidelity is ok, but in retrospect i’ve certainly forgotten about it. i didn’t have time to get attached. just enough time for me to figure out it was all wrong. i guess the logical part of me got out of it first so im at fault as well. i just wish the estrogen in me wouldn’t have let me get that discouraged about it. fucking silly.
i feel really dumb for posting that, but im going to keep it there to remind myself how silly i can be sometimes. feelings still hurt regardless.
well that was short lived. im ok with it.
